Two Dishwashers: The Ultimate Luxury

Owning zero dishwashers is a chore.

Every meal turns into a grind of prepare, eat, wash. No matter the quality of the meal, no matter how much you enjoyed yourself, you always have the dread of washing up hanging over your head. The pain comes after the pleasure, and it will always be that way. After all, you can’t preemptively wash the dishes now so you don’t have to do it later. It’s brutal. In other parts of life, pain can come before pleasure, and we have agency enough to make it so, but not here. Prepare, eat, wash. Some love preparing, most love eating, but no-one loves washing. At best, most tolerate washing. Many despise it, but no-one enjoys it.

Owning only one dishwasher eliminates some of the chore associated with eating, but it doesn’t completely solve the problem. The endless cycle of prepare, eat, wash, is broken, but new problems are introduced by the economics of dishwasher use. While it’s true that modern dishwashers are more energy and water efficient than manual dish washing, this only becomes the case when the dishwasher is near or at capacity when the wash begins.

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Running a dishwasher for a few plates and forks makes a dishwasher the less efficient option. Therefore, those who don’t opt into extreme, wasteful decadence as a lifestyle choice, are forced to wait until the capacity nears 100%. Sounds reasonable enough; just stack dirty dishes and wait until the dishwasher is near capacity, right? Not so fast! You’ve just finished dinner, and you clear the table. Brimming with delight at the prospect of yet another night of effortless cleaning, you open the dishwasher. Except  this time – egad! The dishwasher is full! At most, you may be able to squeeze a single plate among the dirty riff-raff, but you’ve so much more than a single plate! You have three plates and two bowls, not to mention a fourth plate and some cutlery!

So what do you do? Do you leave them on the counter top, lying in wait for the moment that the dishwasher is once again empty? Do you wash the dishes by hand? In the sink? Both are the options of peasants, scoundrels, and commoners. A wholesome, moral, god-fearing individual would never bring themselves down to the level of such unsavory characters.

Enter: Two dishwashers. One dishwasher cleans dishes but meets its downfall once it simultaneously nears both capacity and meal time. A second dishwasher completely and effortlessly alleviates this problem; as the first dishwasher reaches capacity, pile the rest of the load into the other dishwasher, and run the first. The second dishwasher is then used normally, just like the first; fill it to capacity, run it, and load the spill-over into the other dishwasher, which by then should be empty.

You may be tempted to think that twice the number of dishwashers means twice the resource expenditure, but this isn’t the case. Since each dishwasher is only ever run at capacity, the total water and energy consumption barely rises at all, if at all. The only thing that’s happened is that the total load capacity has doubled, but with the added flexibility of two separate, independently-running loads. Twice the load, little extra resource consumption, and all of the added luxury. All for one low price; two entire dishwashers.